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Orgasm is a Noun

First off, allow me to say, “Hi, Mom (and Mom’s friends…and people I work with at my FT job)! You may want to skip this post.”

OK, now that that’s out of the way, onto the meat of today’s topic. ;-) This entry is not actually about orgasms. I know, I know. It’s sad. It’s about one of the most common grammatical errors that I know of: Your vs You’re.

I was reading a book the other day – which I won’t call out here: A) because I think my mother is still reading along, and B) because I would never do that to an author. Ever. – and I came across a line of dialogue which stopped me in my tracks. It went something like this:

“How was you’re orgasm?” (No, that’s not the actual line of dialogue; I’m paraphrasing. Because honestly, if that had been in the book, I would have sent a message to the author saying, “If he has to ask, he’s doing it wrong. And uncertain is not how I like my male heroes. And hey, do you need a new editor? I have reasonable rates.”)

But my point is, it’s an incorrect use of “you’re.” “You’re” is a contraction meaning “you are.” As in “You are kind. You are smart. You are important.” (Which again, I’m paraphrasing by switching up the grammar.) “You are” is meant to describe a state of being or an attribute you possess: kind, smart, important, late, drunk. You get the picture.

On the other hand “your” is a possessive pronoun, meaning an object or a NOUN belongs to “you.” When you are writing about an item which is owned or possessed by you, you want to go with “your.” It is “your book,” “your cat,” “your orgasm.” (Unless it’s BDSM and you’re a submissive, and then the argument can be made for the orgasm belonging to your Dom. That’s up to you. But your Dom does belong to you. If that’s your arrangement. I think I’ll stop with this example; it’s running away from me.)

It’s like the name of this blog: “Silently Correcting Your Grammar.” The grammar is yours. It belongs to you. I’m here to tell you when it needs correction. Then it becomes “Your Grammar 2.0. Now corrected for ease of reading!”

Once you understand the very basic difference between “you’re” and “your,” choosing correctly between them when you’re writing is not difficult or even time-consuming. It’s a simple matter of reading it out loud to yourself. If you use “you’re,” make sure that “you are” would make the sentence sound just as correct. As in, “You’re a very kinky girl.” If you use “your,” make sure you’re talking about something you possess and that “you are” is not what you mean. As in, “What’s your kink, darlin’?”

But most importantly, remember that it’s your orgasm, dammit. And it should always be amazing!

(So, Mom, Mom’s friends, folks at home, what’d you think? Did this answer your you’re/your questions? Do you have more? As long as it’s not “Why is the sky blue?” or any sort of math equation involving area, I’d love to help you answer any pressing concerns. And if you have a bad grammar during orgasm story to share, please do so. I’ll do my best to work it in to a future post. Also, do we like the every week posting? Should it be every two weeks? I want your feedback, because you’re the reason I’m writing!)



Originally published February 3, 2014

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